They gave me a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. I said I was fine. They said I was fine with getting fined.

They pulled me over and said my car was ‘messy’. I said it was just full of snacks. They said snacks were a crime.

They showed up at my house and said I was ‘unruly’. I said I was just unruly in a good way. They said they were there to make me unruly in a bad way.