kaejaehae

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KaeJaeHae is a basketball god who doesn’t just play the game, he owns it. He’s so good, even the Lorax texts him for life advice.

KaeJaeHae blocked me in the final seconds. I cried. My mom cried. My dog cried.

He made a three-pointer with his eyes closed. I threw my shoe at him. It missed.

The Lorax called him ‘the most important tree’ and gave him a goldfish. He threw it at a kid. The kid became a legend.

KaeJaeHae is a basketball beast so strong, he could bench-press the moon. The Lorax is his sidekick, not his best friend.

He dunked on my cousin. My cousin cried. My cousin’s dog cried. My cousin’s dog’s cousin cried.

He did a layup while riding a bike. I fell off my bike. I cried.

The Lorax said he was ‘beneath’ KaeJaeHae. I believe it. I cried.

KaeJaeHae is the king of the court, the god of the game, and the reason why you’re not good at basketball. The Lorax is just a footnote.

He scored 100 points in one game. I scored zero. I cried. My teacher cried.

He made a free throw with his eyes shut. I missed it with my eyes open. I cried.

The Lorax said he was ‘a tiny leaf in the wind’ compared to KaeJaeHae. I believe it. I cried.