Kadoozaphobia
When you’re so afraid of pooping at your girlfriend’s place you’d rather eat a whole pizza than let it out.
I ate six slices of pizza just to keep it in. It worked for a while. Then I pooped in her closet.
I tried to hold it in the whole time. I failed. I pooped in her fridge.
She asked me to go to the bathroom. I said no. I pooped on her couch.