Kadoozaphobia

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A fear of crapping your girlfriend’s place like it’s your own toilet and you’re the king of the bathroom.

I had to go so bad I almost pooped on her floor. I ran out like a scared rat.

She asked me to hold it, and I said no. Now I have to live with the shame.

I pooped in her shower. That’s not a mistake. That’s a war crime.

When you’re so scared of pooping at your girlfriend’s place you’d rather cry than let it out.

I sat on the toilet for 10 minutes just to keep it in. It was a battle of wills.

I pooped in her sink. She called me a monster. I called her a bad roommate.

I tried to hide it in her trash. It didn’t work. It just stared back at me.

A total breakdown when you poop at your girlfriend’s place and it feels like the end of the world.

I pooped in her bed. She screamed. I cried. It was a full-blown disaster.

I had to leave the house. I was that embarrassed. I called my mom. She laughed.

She took a picture of my poop and sent it to my brother. I want to die.

When you’re so afraid of pooping at your girlfriend’s place you’d rather eat a whole pizza than let it out.

I ate six slices of pizza just to keep it in. It worked for a while. Then I pooped in her closet.

I tried to hold it in the whole time. I failed. I pooped in her fridge.

She asked me to go to the bathroom. I said no. I pooped on her couch.

A fear so strong it makes you poop in places you shouldn’t, just to avoid the embarrassment.

I pooped in her car. She didn’t know. I was a genius for a while.

I pooped in her hallway. It was like a crime scene. She called the cops.

I pooped in her pet’s bowl. It was a mercy kill.

When you’re so scared of pooping at your girlfriend’s place you’d rather fight her than let it out.

I pooped in her face. She hit me. It was worth it.

We had a full-blown argument over my poop. It was epic.

I pooped in her shoes. She screamed. I laughed. I won.