Kaaren
Kaaren is a woman who would fight a dragon for you, but she’ll also text you 10 times a day to remind you she’s still alive.
She texted me a photo of my cat wearing a crown and said, 'Your cat is now king. You are now peasant.'
She showed up at my birthday party with a cake and a list of things I did wrong.
She called my mom to tell her I was a bad influence.