K-Paradox
When someone brags like they’ve never been smacked in the face, but their dumbass behavior makes it obvious they’ve been hit more times than they’ve had hot meals.
'I don’t need you telling me what to do!' (while still bleeding from the mouth)
'You’re just a loser!' (after being thrown out of a restaurant)
'I don’t even need to be here!' (while holding a broken hand and a bruised face)