Jacob Simmons
A Jacob Simmons is a lazy friend who vanishes like a fart in the wind and then acts like they never left. They’ll text you once a month and say they were busy, but they were just playing video games and eating pizza.
I was busy, okay? I was playing Fortnite.
I didn’t see your texts because I was napping. It was a full-time job.
I was busy. I was busy with my busy life.