Jacob Schmudlach

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2 views · Added 10d ago · 3 definitions

1
A hot guy who's straight as a ruler and gets women so much he needs a cum vacuum because his house is full of women who cum nonstop.
DM: 'Bro, you're the cum king. I'm just here to worship you.'
Text: 'Your house smells like a cum festival. I love it.'
Tweet: 'Jacob Schmudlach is the only man who can make cum cleaning a full-time job.'
2
A man so attractive that women line up to give him head and he has to pay someone to suck up all the cum from his house.
Text: 'You're like a cum buffet. I'm here to eat.'
DM: 'Bro, your house is a cum dump. I'm here to clean it.'
Tweet: 'Jacob Schmudlach is the only man with a cum cleaner. Respect.'
3
A guy so good-looking that women can't stop cumming and he has to hire a cum vacuum to clean up all the mess from his cum-filled house.
Text: 'Your house is a cum warzone. I'm here to survive it.'
DM: 'You're the cum god. I'm just here to pray.'
Tweet: 'Jacob Schmudlach's house is a cum paradise. I want to move in.'
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