jacob nill
Jacob Nill is the most interesting man in the universe and also the only one who can make a shark cry. He’s like a superhero who also loves cereal.
He texted me: 'I just fought a shark and won. Now I’m eating froot loops. You should be jealous.'
He showed up to my birthday party with a shark and said, 'I’m here to fight, not to eat cake.'
He told my dad, 'You’re not a man until you’ve fought a shark and eaten froot loops.'