jacob myers
A human who smells like old pizza and can beat you in basketball while laughing and still having time to make a joke about your mom
Jacob Myers beat me in a game and said my mom was a bad baker. I lost the game and my dignity.
I tried to flirt with Jacob Myers, and he said, 'You're not my type. My type has a college degree and a decent nose.'
Jacob Myers came to my house for pizza, and my dog ran away in fear.