Jacob Monday
A one-legged man who tries to talk trash but gets all sore when you talk trash back. He’s always got some dumb excuse for why he’s too lazy to work.
Jacob: 'You’re weak.' Me: 'You’re a one-legged man who can’t even stand up straight.'
Jacob: 'I’m not lazy, I’m just taking a break.' Me: 'You took a break for three years.'
Jacob: 'You can’t roast me.' Me: 'I just did. And I’m still standing.' Jacob: 'I’m still sitting.'