Jacob Monday

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A one-legged man who tries to make fun of you but cries like a baby when you make fun of him. He always finds a way to be too lazy to work.

Jacob: 'You’re the worst.' Me: 'You’re a one-legged man who can’t even get a job.' Jacob: 'I’m just tired.'

Jacob: 'I’m not lazy, I’m strategic.' Me: 'Yeah, strategic like a drunk man who fell off a chair.'

Jacob: 'You can’t roast me.' Me: 'I just did. And I’m still standing.' Jacob: 'I’m still sitting.'

A guy with only one leg who thinks he’s the king of roasting but gets all mad when you roast him harder. He’s too lazy to do anything but complain.

Jacob: 'You’re a loser.' Me: 'You’re a one-legged man who’s too lazy to even stand up.'

Jacob: 'I’m not lazy, I’m a legend.' Me: 'A legend that can’t even walk.'

Jacob: 'You can’t beat me.' Me: 'I just did. And I didn’t even break a sweat.'

A one-legged man who tries to talk trash but gets all sore when you talk trash back. He’s always got some dumb excuse for why he’s too lazy to work.

Jacob: 'You’re weak.' Me: 'You’re a one-legged man who can’t even stand up straight.'

Jacob: 'I’m not lazy, I’m just taking a break.' Me: 'You took a break for three years.'

Jacob: 'You can’t roast me.' Me: 'I just did. And I’m still standing.' Jacob: 'I’m still sitting.'