jacob mau
Jacob Mau is a guy who talks about big dongs like they’re the best thing ever, but his own is smaller than a cheese stick, and he’s still mad about it.
Jacob: 'I love 20-inch dongs!' Me: 'Bro, your dong is the size of a baby's noodle.'
Jacob: 'I'd take a 20-inch dong any day.' Me: 'You'd take a 20-inch dong if it came with a coupon.'
Jacob: 'Big dongs are the future.' Me: 'The future is also 1.2 cm.'