Jacob Hatcher
Jacob Hatcher is the human version of a calculator. He’s a ginger, a Mormon, and he thinks he’s so smart that he should be worshipped like a god. He watches math videos and learns Japanese just to make people feel stupid.
He said he was learning Japanese so he could talk to his ancestors. I said, 'Why not just talk to them in English? They probably don’t care.'
He walked in and said, 'You all are just background noise.' I didn’t even know what that meant.
He watched a video for an hour and still said it was too easy. I was crying inside.