Jackwack
A human who lives in a hole and thinks doing nothing but eating pizza and jerking off is the height of success. They can't even make a sandwich without burning it.
That jackwack can't even tie their shoes without falling over.
My cousin is a jackwack. He tried to cook breakfast and set the kitchen on fire.
My friend's roommate is a jackwack. He got fired from three jobs and still doesn't know why.