Jackuary

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To pass Jackuary, you gotta jerk off every day in January. No excuses, no breaks, just pure pain and glory.

My mom said I failed Jackuary because I missed one day. I told her I was dead.

I jerked off in front of my teacher. She gave me a D-

I tried to skip Jackuary. My dad said I’d be forced to jerk off in front of my cousins.

Jackuary is when you have to jerk off every day in January. If you don’t, you get cursed by the almighty penis god.

I got cursed by the penis god. My wiener turned purple.

I didn’t jerk off on New Year’s. My pants exploded.

My cousin got cursed. Now he jerks off in his sleep.

Jackuary is when you have to jerk off every day in January. It’s like having a second job, but with more sweat and less money.

I got fired from my Jackuary job because I took too long.

My boss said I was slacking. I told him I had a meeting with my wiener.

I had to jerk off during lunch. My coworkers cried.