jackoff all trades
A person who thinks they're a superhero but can't even tie their shoes. They try to do everything but end up making a mess of everything.
He tried to be a chef, a barista, and a magician. The food was gross, the coffee was black, and the magic trick was just a bad card game.
He told me he could clean my house, fix my car, and write a poem. Now my house is a disaster, my car is dead, and the poem was about his ex.
He tried to run a business, play basketball, and date my sister. Now he's broke, he lost the game, and my sister's dating someone else.