Jacked Jesus
Jacked Jesus is like a god who’s short and built like a meathead. He’s 5'3" and strong enough to crush you like a pancake if you annoy him. People who say he’s too strong are right, but they’re also wrong because they’re still alive.
My cousin flexed at Jacked Jesus and got turned into a pile of ash. I watched it happen. It was sad.
I tried to argue with Jacked Jesus. He looked at me like I was a bug. I ran away.
My dog got too close to Jacked Jesus. Now he’s a dust bunny. I miss him.