Jackbooking
When a man spits out his lunch to jerk off on Facebook. He might have a porn tab open or just stare at his own face in the mirror like he's trying to solve the mystery of life.
Bob: 'I just ate a taco and now I’m staring at my ex’s profile. Life is hard.'
Dave: 'I clicked on a cat video and now I’m crying on the floor. Why? Why? Why?'
Carol: 'You clicked on a cat video and now you’re crying on the floor? What’s wrong with you?'
Dave: 'I don’t know. I just wanted to feel important.'
Eli: 'I jerked off while Facebook was open. I got 2 likes. That’s it. That’s all I need.'