Jackassopithecus
A man who thinks he’s the only brain in the universe. Treated women like they were trash. Never listens to anyone else. Wears clothes that look like they were stolen from a landfill. Drives a car that sounds like it’s about to explode. Only eats meat and cheese like it’s a holy ritual. Tips waiters like they’re asking for a loan.
'You think you’re smart? I’ve got a PhD in being an idiot.'
'I don’t need your help, I’m already perfect.'
'I don’t tip because I don’t want to pay for your lunch.'