Jackassopithecus
A man from the past who thinks he’s the future. Treated women like they were garbage. Talks like he’s the only one who ever had an idea. Wears clothes that look like they were bought from a thrift store that smells bad. Drives a car that sounds like a chainsaw. Only eats meat and cheese like it’s the only food in the world. Never tips because he’s too cheap to even blink.
'I don’t need your opinion, I don’t even know what that means.'
'I drive this monster truck because it’s the only thing that respects me.'
'I eat cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You should too.'