"I’m gonna be the king of the pitch, and you’ll all be my peasants.", said the guy who tripped over his own shoelace.

"Jack Poxon’s dream is to be the best, but his reality is a nightmare of missed passes.", said the guy who watched him fail 10 times in a row.

"He’s got the ambition of a king, but the skills of a peasant.", said the guy who was still laughing after the game.