Jack Hind
A tall, skinny, smelly bastard who loves getting fucked in the arse, has a toe that looks like it's been through hell, and lives in a garage like it's his own personal prison. He plays warzone all day and thinks he's black just because he's bad at life.
Jack Hind just texted me: 'I got 12 kills in warzone, and my toe still hurts.'
He tried to play chicken on the motorway and got stuck behind a lorry like a real loser.
His mum texts him every day: 'Postman just got a new job. You're not getting any more vag.'