Jack Hind
A skinny, smelly, toe-infected wanker who lives in a broken garage, plays warzone all day like it's his job, and thinks he's black because he can't handle life. He also loves getting dicked in the arse and drives a broken Ford that never works.
Jack Hind texted me: 'I got 10 kills today, and my Ford still won't start.'
He tried to play chicken on the motorway and got stuck behind a lorry like a total loser.
His mum texts him every day: 'Postman just got a new job. I'm getting a new vag.'