jack findley
Jack Findley is a Scottish man who hates the English so much he screams at them. He eats Hagis and drinks Irn Bru, and he cries every time he watches Come Dine With Me. He also thinks the English bugs are trying to kill him.
'Sorry, I just cried at Come Dine With Me and now I hate you.', Jack, sipping Irn Bru.
'Sorry, I just deep-fried your pizza and now it's on the ceiling.', Jack, looking very proud.
'Sorry, I just watched X-Factor and now I want to punch the audience.', Jack, holding a Hagis like it's a weapon.