Jack Elliott
Jack Elliott is a brainy guy with a tiny weenie who acts like he’s too good for prom. He loves Valorie Ford but is too scared to ask her. He also hates Jews and blacks, which is weird for someone so smart.
'I love Valorie Ford, but I’m too scared to ask her to prom. I’m a baby.'
'I’m not racist. I’m just really good at it.'
'I’ve got a brain the size of a football and a weenie the size of a pebble.'