jack diddly dipshit
A jack diddly dipshit is someone who is stupid, lazy, and somehow still manages to be the most confident person in the room.
My friend is a jack diddly dipshit. He fell out of a tree and said it was a ‘controlled descent.’
My brother is a jack diddly dipshit. He tried to do a backflip and landed on his face, then said it was ‘a new style.’
My neighbor is a jack diddly dipshit. She tried to mow the lawn and ended up mowing her own head.