Jabba the Hutt
A human-sized blob that moves like a snail on a sugar high. You’re a Jabba if you take 10 minutes to walk 10 feet and still manage to smell like a week-old gym sock.
My uncle is a Jabba. He took 20 minutes to get from the couch to the fridge. And he still smelled like he’d been in a trash can.
My friend’s dog is a Jabba. It doesn’t walk, it oozes.
My teacher is a Jabba. She took 3 minutes to walk to the board, and I fell asleep in the process.