j-wife
A J-wife is a fake Japanese wife that people use to lie about why they're dumb online. It’s like having a partner in crime for your dumbness.
My J-wife said I was out of town. I wasn’t. She was. I was out of my mind.
I told my J-wife I was at the movie. She told me she was at the movie. We both went to the movie. We both fell asleep.
My J-wife said I was busy. I was busy being annoyed by her.