J Peterman
The overly fancy, Hemingway-style descriptions of weed on dispensary sites. They make you think you’re reading a novel, not a strain review.
'This strain is so smooth, it could make your day feel like a vacation, or a movie.'
'This bud is so strong, it could make you feel like a superhero, or a madman.'
'This high is so good, it could make you forget your problems, or your ex.'