I'm Brian - Using any object, big or small, to fake having a hard-on by

Using any object, big or small, to fake having a hard-on by putting it against your crotch.

He used a ladder to try to seduce the teacher. It didn’t go well.

I stuck a marker against my crotch to make my crush laugh.

She used a mop to flirt with the guy in the grocery store. It was a mess.