I'm Brian

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When you stick anything long or short against your crotch to pretend it's a hard-on. Think pool stick, fishing rod, or just one finger.

My neighbor tried to impress my mom with a broom. It didn’t work.

I used my pencil to make my crush think I had a boner. She laughed.

He used a mop to flirt with the janitor. It was messy.

Trying to trick people into thinking you're getting a wood by holding something weird against your junk.

I used a spatula to flirt with my mom. She said I was full of crap.

He used a hose to pretend he had a hard-on. It sprayed everywhere.

She stuck a noodle against her crotch to make me jealous.

Using any object, big or small, to fake having a hard-on by putting it against your crotch.

He used a ladder to try to seduce the teacher. It didn’t go well.

I stuck a marker against my crotch to make my crush laugh.

She used a mop to flirt with the guy in the grocery store. It was a mess.

When you use a random object against your crotch to make it look like you're getting a boner. It’s fake, but it’s funny.

He used a toothpick to flirt with his sister. It was tiny and pointless.

She used a ladder to pretend she had a hard-on. It was awkward.

I stuck a pencil up my pants to impress my crush. It didn’t work.

Putting something weird against your crotch to make it look like you have a hard-on. It's fake, but it's a classic move.

He used a fork to flirt with his mom. It was ridiculous.

She used a vacuum to pretend she had a hard-on. It was loud.

I used a pen to make my crush think I was getting a wood. It was silly.