I'm Batting 1,000

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When you're so good at sex that every person you've ever had sex with has been completely ruined and will never recover.

My ex just found out I'm batting 1,000. She's crying in the taco bell.

He said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You're just not good enough.'

My mom said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You've been doing this for 30 years.'

You're so good at sex that every person you've ever had sex with has been permanently marked as a loss.

My coworker said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You're just not good enough.'

My dog said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You've never had sex.'

My teacher said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You're still grading papers.'

You're so good at sex that every person you've ever had sex with is now in therapy and will never be the same.

My friend said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You're just not good enough.'

My dad said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You're still married.'

My barista said I'm batting 1,000. I said, 'You're still making coffee.'