i'll be darned
Getting so shocked you could swear your pants caught fire. Used when something impossible just happened or when you're too dumb to agree with someone.
'I'll be darned' after seeing my ex's new car and realizing I still owe them money.
'I'll be darned' when my kid told me he failed math again.
'I'll be darned' when my mom texted me a photo of my dad's new beard.'