I'd fap that - You say this when you'd rather jerk off to something than ev

You say this when you'd rather jerk off to something than ever get laid. Mostly used by nerds who know they'll never get lucky.

I'd fap that pizza box. It's got cheese and sauce and I'm tired.

My crush got a six-pack. I'd fap that.

I saw a dog wearing a shirt. I'd fap that.