I'd be damned - A swear-filled yell when you see something so ridiculous it

A swear-filled yell when you see something so ridiculous it makes your brain hurt.

I saw my dad wear socks with sandals. I'd be damned if I didn't scream.

My cat knocked over my cereal. I'd be damned if I didn't yell at it.

My friend told me he dated a chicken. I'd be damned if I didn't laugh.