I would, but I'm pregnant - a made-up condition that lets women sit still while everyone

a made-up condition that lets women sit still while everyone else is doing stuff, even if they just had a baby six months ago

'I would go to the park, but I'm pregnant.' You had your baby in January.

'I would take the dog for a walk, but I'm pregnant.' You can walk a dog and still be pregnant.

'I would clean my house, but I'm pregnant.' Your kid is 18 and still living with you.