i swear to beans

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You swear to something gross like gum, soup, or whatever is near you so you don't have to swear to God.

I swear to chicken soup if you keep talking about your ex's new dog.

I swear to this gum I'm chewing if you don't stop being a buttface.

I swear to this noodle soup if you don't shut up about your bad hair day.

You promise to something messy like gum, soup, or whatever is in your hand instead of making a real swear.

I swear to this chicken soup if you don't stop talking about your loud uncle.

I swear to this gum if you don't make me listen to your bad singing.

I swear to this noodle mess if you don't keep bragging about your dog.

You use something gross you have on you like gum, soup, or whatever is near you to swear instead of using God.

I swear to this soup if you don't stop talking about your dumb job.

I swear to this gum if you don't keep making fun of my hair.

I swear to this noodle mess if you don't keep bragging about your new car.