I suck at life - A person who’s so bad at life, they probably died in the wom

A person who’s so bad at life, they probably died in the womb and just forgot to tell anyone.

I tried to do a chore and made a mess so big, the neighbors called the fire department.

I tried to walk outside and my immune system threw a tantrum.

I tried to talk and my voice sounded like a goat with a cold.