I suck at life

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I’m the worst at everything. I fail at stuff even a baby could do.

I tried to fold a sock and it looked like a warzone.

I burned toast and my dog ran away from me.

I tried to text and typed ‘I love you’ to my mom’s ex.

A person who’s so bad at life, they probably died in the womb and just forgot to tell anyone.

I tried to do a chore and made a mess so big, the neighbors called the fire department.

I tried to walk outside and my immune system threw a tantrum.

I tried to talk and my voice sounded like a goat with a cold.