i only love my bed and my mama

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You only give a damn about your mom and your bed. Everything else is trash.

I don't care if the world ends. My bed and my mama are safe.

If you interrupt me during my nap, I'll murder you.

My dog is cute, but not as cute as my bed and my mama.

You think your mom and your bed are the only things worth living for. Everything else is just a waste of time.

I skipped school to eat cereal and hug my mom. Worth it.

My dad tried to talk to me. I told him to go to hell.

I'd rather die than leave my bed on a Monday.

You'd rather be dead than not be with your mom or your bed. That's how much you love them.

I'd rather be buried under my bed than talk to my teacher.

My mom is the only one who can wake me up without screaming.

I would fight a dragon for my bed and my mom.

You're so obsessed with your bed and your mom that you'd poop on your dad just to stay with them.

I pooped in my pants to stay home with my mom. Worth it.

My dad said I was a failure. I told him to shut up and go to work.

I'd rather be a monster than leave my bed.

You'd throw your life away for your mom and your bed. They're your only real friends.

I quit my job to sleep more and hug my mom.

My friends are cool, but they can't beat my bed.

I'd rather be alone than not be with my mom and my bed.