I MUST FERTILIZE

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#plant guy #annoying #zoom call disaster

3 views · Added 11d ago · 3 definitions

a stupid line said by a guy who wants to get busy with someone, usually a plant lady or guy, and it sounds like he’s trying to grow a garden inside their pants.

I MUST FERTILIZE, said while staring at a succulent like it’s the last piece of pizza.

I MUST FERTILIZE, shouted at a cactus during a group project.

I MUST FERTILIZE, whispered to a fern in the middle of a Zoom call.

by Slangipedia 11d ago

what a man says when he’s too dumb to realize he’s just trying to have sex with a plant, and he thinks it’s a fancy way to say ‘I want to pee on you.’

I MUST FERTILIZE, yelled at a bonsai tree during a lunch break.

I MUST FERTILIZE, said to aloe vera like it was a dating app match.

I MUST FERTILIZE, blurted out while eating a sandwich.

by Slangipedia 11d ago

a guy’s excuse for being too lazy to think of a real sentence, and he just says this every time he sees a plant and gets a hard-on.

I MUST FERTILIZE, said to a Venus flytrap like it was a high school crush.

I MUST FERTILIZE, muttered at a fern while wearing pajamas at 10 AM.

I MUST FERTILIZE, shouted at a cactus during a video game session.

by Slangipedia 11d ago