I know Jesus loves YOU!
Someone saying God's got a soft spot for you because you barely survived something that should have killed you and probably still had time to flirt with death.
I know Jesus loves YOU! You were buried alive and still managed to text me with one hand.
I know Jesus loves YOU! You got thrown into a volcano and came out with a sunburn and a new hobby.
I know Jesus loves YOU! You were trapped in a microwave and somehow still had the energy to complain about the heat.