I Heart Baloney Phony

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A drunk gay man who thinks he's the king of the ladies, even though he’s just been hit with a bottle of cheap wine.

'I'm taking her to the diner tomorrow. She's my main squeeze now.'

'I asked her to marry me. She said yes. She was drunk.'

'I’m not just a man. I’m a legend. A legend with a wine bottle.'

A gay man who drinks so much he thinks all women want him, even though they just want him to stop talking.

'I told her my life story. She cried. She was moved.'

'She said she wanted to be my girlfriend. I don’t know why. I was screaming.'

'I think I’m the best man ever. She said I was charming. She was high.'

A gay man who drinks until he’s so wasted he believes every woman he sees is in love with him, even if they’re just trying to get out of the bar.

'She asked me to dance. I said yes. She asked me to marry her. I said yes.'

'She offered me a drink. I offered her my heart.'

'I told her I was a rockstar. She said I was cute. I was drunk.'