I have a small dick
Your dick is like a tiny joke that’s stuck in your pants. Just laugh it off. No need to cry about it. People will find it more attractive if you do.
You’re on a date and you say, 'I’ve got a small dick, but I’ve got a big heart.' She says, 'That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.'
Your friend says, 'You’re like a mini version of a joke.' You say, 'That’s the best thing about me.'
You tell your dad, 'I’ve got a small dick, but I’ve got a big brain.' He says, 'That’s why you’re my favorite.'