I have a cat in my lap - Your way of saying you’re too lazy to do anything and your c

Your way of saying you’re too lazy to do anything and your cat is the only thing keeping you from being a total failure.

I have a cat in my lap, so I’m not going to do anything else.

I have a cat in my lap, and I’m not getting up for anything.

I have a cat in my lap, and I’m too lazy to be successful.