I Got A Guy
You know some freak in a job who you can beg for help when you're in a mess.
I got a guy at the gym who'll lift you out of a hole if you promise to stop stealing his protein powder.
My cousin's got a guy at the DMV who lets him skip the line if he brings donuts.
I got a guy in the jail who'll tell the cops you're not the one who stole the pizza.