I don't make the rules; I just break 'em
Your partner in crime is a fake rule-follower who really just wants to take your money, your time, and your good sense.
He said he was a waiter so he could steal my tip and my last brain cell.
He worked at the post office like he was a nice guy, but he stole my mail and my mind.
He acted like a teacher so he could steal my grades and my respect.