I don´t have a crystal ball - What you say when life throws you a curveball and you’re too

What you say when life throws you a curveball and you’re too dumb to even catch it.

I don’t have a crystal ball, I have a brain that’s been eaten by a toddler.

I don’t have a crystal ball, I have a day that’s been stolen by a coffee addiction.

I don’t have a crystal ball, I have a life that’s been ruined by a friend who thinks I’m a walking disaster.