i could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you

I’m about to drop the truth on you, and you won’t like it. You’ll be dead.

My friend said, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you,' and I got scared.

At school, the teacher said, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you,' and we all laughed.

My brother said, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you,' and I started crying.